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While in very severe cases of anger this is the case and would definitely require anger management – what I like to define as ‘aggressive anger’, there are other cases that require equally robust anger management but where the signs of anger are not so obvious. It may be the case that we have anger that is ‘simmering under the surface’ sometimes for a long period of time – what I call ‘passive anger’. While this may not reveal itself as full blown rage, it can have an equally detrimental impact on our life – maybe even more-so than aggressive anger as this type of deep-rooted passive anger does not seem to have a release-valve.

It is all well and good discussing what anger management involves, why it is useful and other aspects of anger management and anger more generally -something I have discussed in other articles and will do so in forthcoming ones- but unless we realise we have an anger problem in the first place, it is simply pointless talking about effective treatments. After all, unless we know that we have a problem, we cannot go to the next step of addressing this.

With this in mind, the rest of the article will focus on reading the signs of anger for both ‘aggressive’ and ‘passive’ anger. Some of these may sounds pretty obvious but are important to note all the same.

ANGRY OUTBURSTS, SHOUTING, PHYSICAL VIOLENCE AND AGGRESSION – This is the easiest identifier of anger for obvious reasons. As discussed above, this is the classic type of anger – that is easy to define and easy to know when we are experiencing it. As displayed in many soap operas, films and so forth; this aggressive anger can build-up over a long period of time as ‘passive anger’ or simply arise without this. Whatever the cause, this anger expresses itself in the form of vocal shouting, physical violence from throwing objects across a room to violence towards another person. This can have disastrous effects on our life. If this happens at work it could lead to disciplinary action or socially lead to loss of friendships. In the form of domestic violence or assault towards another person, it can lead to a criminal conviction and the consequences that arise from this.

FEELING STRESSED AND IRRITABLE – Stress is probably one of the most common causes of anger and in turn, anger (especially when it is passive) can cause further stress. This vicious cycle can have consequences for us, our friends, family and colleagues. When feeling this build-up of anger it is a good idea to seek anger management. Contrary to popular belief, the time for anger management is not after a violent outburst or indeed, anger does not need to surface as aggression to be classified as anger. Feeling this build up of anger -whether this has been for a few days, weeks, months or even years- is a sign that we are experiencing an anger problem, with the likelihood being that the longer we leave it unaddressed, the worse the anger and consequences of this anger may become and the harder it will be to rid ourselves of it.

FEELING ANNOYED AT EVERY LITTLE THING – Again, whether this comes across as shouting and ranting or is a build-up of annoyance inside our own minds, the fact of the matter is that we are becoming angry. Certain small amounts of anger and frustration are actually good for us and are healthy emotions in our day-to-day lives. The problems begin when this becomes more prolonged and deep rooted, causing us great annoyance at regular intervals and at situations that should not. If we feel we are becoming overly annoyed and are being annoyed by things that did not annoy us in the past -or annoy us to the same degree- this is a sign of increasing anger building and should be addressed as soon as possible. Not only do we stand the chance of damaging our health in this situation but the suppressed anger may build-up to such an extent where it is released as physical aggression.

TENSION WITHIN A RELATIONSHIP – Our personal relationships in many ways are the bellwethers of our health and well-being (and that of the other partner of course). As such, when we are experiencing problems -especially stress and anger- it can have an effect on our relationship. We may as an individual become more agitated, annoyed over small things or not as talkative as usual. This can have a dramatic and negative effect upon our relationship – even more-so if the anger comes across as shouting and especially so for physical aggression. If we feel that our anger is having a negative effect on our relationship then anger management is definitely necessary and could help you save your relationship if the problem has got to a serious stage.

LACK OF CONCENTRATION – Anger -even if it is not the aggressive type- takes up a great deal of energy and memory. While we are thinking about being angry over something, all of this energy and brain power is channelled into the angry thoughts and away from other constructive things we could be doing. After speaking to a great many clients over the years, it is often the case that when something is troubling us, these thoughts can enter our mind at any time no-matter what we are doing. We may be thinking about something completely different to what makes us angry but without warning the angry thought can enter our head. Again, without too much explanation here, these can distract us from other things, especially those activities where we need full concentration such as work. Not only can this lead to a lack of concentration and the negative effects that can arise from this, but also when these thoughts do arise, they can often not only cause the anger to get worse -causing more of these thoughts- but also can lead to aggressive anger in some circumstances.

Since anger is the most dangerous emotion, anger management techniques are important.

Since they evolved, emotions are at least sometimes valuable when it comes to surviving and reproducing. One of their important functions is to narrow our focus, which minimizes distractions when confronted with a problem. The price we pay for this is automatically filtering out information inconsistent with the emotion we are experiencing and that information can be important.

The word ‘anger’ actually denotes a family of related experiences. They differ not only in strength (from very mild annoyance to rage) but in other ways as well. Their target may be inner-directed or outer-directed. They may be active (revenge) or passive (sulking). Unless they are directed at oneself, they usually have a self-righteous or moral edge.

Anger can be useful in that it can motivate action. For example, you might attempt to right a wrong, to cure an injustice. Even if the behavior is violent it may stimulate beneficial change.

Anger accelerates heart rate and increases blood pressure. It stimulates the familiar “fight or flight” response, and that response could fuel behavior that saves your life.

Furthermore, anger can defend us against other emotions such as agony and fear. In fact, while many people find anger toxic, some hostile people actually enjoy being angry.

Nevertheless, mastering effective anger management techniques is important. Being angry does not really feel good. Typically, you feel tension, pressure, and heat. There is a tendency to bite down hard, thrust your chin forward, and move toward the target in order to punish or harm it.

Worse, being angry can create more suffering than it diminishes. This is the most important reason why anger management techniques are important.

For example, any violence directed at the target may be misplaced. That person or agent may not be responsible. Furthermore, even if an act of violence would be normal or socially approved, it may not be instrumental and may be disproportionate.

Though they occasionally get angry, sages never indulge in anger; instead, they practice forbearance.

Assuming that you are angry and do not want to be, what should you do? The best, most effective anger management techniques are these:

1. Accept responsibility for your situation. Effective anger management techniques begin with your attitude.

In EMOTIONS REVEALED, Paul Ekman argues that there are 9 different types of causes of emotions. Some triggers we all share, but those that are culture-specific and individual-specific are learned. Repeated experiences generate habits that he calls “automatic appraising mechanisms.”

These have evolutionary value. For example, when your welfare is at stake, they enable you to respond quickly without having to think about what to do. You learned at a very early age that, if you were thwarted by someone interfering with what you really wanted to do, you could sometimes get what you want by moving toward, threatening, or even attacking the person who was interfering with you. You learned how to be angry at others and, eventually, internalized that learning.

Your evolutionary heritage made this kind of emotional learning possible. Obviously, it can be adaptive when it comes to your surviving or reproducing.

Still, it is all about you! It is all about you getting what you want. It is wholly self-centered. It depends upon separating what is valuable for you for what is valuable for someone else.

Separation is the cause of suffering. Even though it has survival value, emotional separation creates suffering. There is no free lunch; increased suffering is the price we pay for being emotional creatures. This is why we all need to learn effective anger management techniques.

Notice the structure of the experience I just described. You were pursuing some goal or other when someone thwarted that pursuit. You thought something like, “Someone stopped me from doing what I want to do.” That judgment was immediately followed by an egocentric evaluation: “This is bad for me.” That resulted in a set of feelings or sensations. That state of anger motivated your behavior that, in this case let us imagine, was successful because it removed the interference.

Notice that there would have been no anger without the self-centered evaluation that “This is bad for me.” That is the evaluation that is important to own. Nobody else created the anger: you did. The world did not make you angry. Something happened, and you reacted by becoming angry.

Whenever I tell others that as a therapist I teach anger management, the response is often similar. They usually range from “really, you teach anger management?” to the sarcastic, “yeah, that’s appropriate” followed by some laughter. Once in a while I get a more enlightened response suggesting I look like I used to have an anger management problem. I have to admit, I’m not the stereotypical anger management facilitator. For one, I probably don’t have the look expected. But more importantly, I am a passionate individual. I raise my voice when excited, and have been known to joke about “choking the life” out of some types of drivers. Of course I would never do this, and can’t even remember the last time I gave someone the finger in anger. But haven’t we all had thoughts that we aren’t proud of?

Now when I say I am passionate, I mean in every aspect of my life. I enjoy life completely. I may react emotionally initially, but my reactions have not resulted in any real difficulty in some time. Besides, aren’t we all human? Is it necessarily so bad to react a little? I always tell my clients the goal of therapy is not to make them robots devoid of emotion. But when it comes to anger management, the general public seems to want a Dali Lama clone to facilitate.

This isn’t to say they aren’t great facilitators. Even I, with my eastern philosophical beliefs, strive for more peace and tranquility. But some people begin life with more tranquil temperaments, or their environment enhances this type of persona. I believe one of my strengths is that clients relate to me as I seem more like a regular guy, with thoughts and reactions similar to theirs.

Moving onto to anger management skills now, there are many techniques that can assist one in managing their anger. I would like to use the rest of the article to discuss helping individuals manage their anger. As with any set of techniques for any behavioral change, it will take practicing the technique to make the change effective. So let’s start with some definitions related to anger.

First, it’s important to understand that anger is a normal emotion, everyone has it, and it can range from irritation to rage. Some of the other related definitions include: Aggression- a behavior intended to cause harm or intimidate, hostility-an attitude which seems to radiate from the individual, and Rage- the loss of control of the anger, usually resulting in behavior leading to remorse.

Anger is considered a problem when it is felt too intensely, too frequently, or expressed inappropriately. Anger can contribute to violence, medical issues as a result of the bodily response (fight or flight syndrome), and damage to relationships. Consequences from anger can be experienced whether the anger is expressed or not.

Anger is usually seen as a problem when it is expressed inappropriately. But even the inappropriate expression of anger has a payoff. One reward is the release of tension. There is generally a sense of release following a blow-up. The angry individual often experiences a sense of relief and even calm. One of the other payoffs of the inappropriate expression of anger is the control of others. Often the exploding individual gets what they want. Others may continue to placate the aggressive individual to avoid conflict or another explosion. This in itself can be very damaging to relationships. Because of the payoffs, inappropriate expression may be reinforced, resulting in the continuation of its use.

People have different anger triggers. A trigger is any event that typically leads to anger. There are three types of triggers that it is helpful to identify. Everyday event triggers include any common event that is irritating or a pet peeve. Examples include driving, traffic, waiting in line, or being put on hold. It is important to identify personal everyday and common triggers.

Another type of trigger is Red Flags (Sensitive areas). Examples of these include being called a name that personally triggers anger, trouble with authority as a result of an authoritarian parent, or anything that personally triggers a sensitive area for the individual. A personal example is when I was young my father used the word punk in the most degrading way. Having heard this term used over and over in a negative fashion led to a very negative association for me. Later, when someone would call me a punk, my anger would instantly rise to rage.

The final type of an anger trigger is Resentment. These triggers are identifiable because one is able to sit alone and get angry about a prior infraction. It differs from a red flag as no one else (or their action) is needed to trigger the anger.

One way to think of anger is in relation to a scale, going from one to ten. One through three could be considered irritation through frustration. Four through six can be considered moderate anger. And seven through 10 could be the range of rage. I usually instruct clients in my anger management workshop to identify what they are experiencing physically, what their thoughts are, and what they are doing behaviorally at three different numbers on the scale. These numbers should be at the low range (irritation to frustration, when they start to feel angry, and what they experience before they move into rage. This provides a starting point for exploration, and assists in identifying the escalation process and identifying where steps can be taken to de-escalate.

Next I discuss de-escalation techniques. One easily used de-escalation technique is a Time out or break from the conflict. I consider there to be two types of breaks: an official break is an agreement with a party frequently in conflict with the person learning to manage their anger (parent, partner, family member). It is agreed between the two that when escalation begins the individual can take a time out to calm down before resolving the issue. The break is not to exceed 24 hours unless absolutely necessary. And when it is necessary, a note should be provided suggesting the appropriate time to hold the discussion (Thich Nhat Hanh). I often encourage the clients in my workshop to attempt to make these arrangements with the person or persons they often get in conflict with.

There is certainly lots of pertinent anger management info. First of all it is important to be able to recognize anger along with the effects associated with anger. Anger management is useless with no knowledge of exactly what it really is a person is actually trying to change and handle. Anger is completely natural. This is a response to a variety of circumstances. It is also OK for you to become angry. However, if that anger gets extreme often there might be larger issues – issues in your household, important relationships and the job. Also it can result in health issues. Individuals who are not able to handle the anger in a constructive manner will probably direct the anger in another direction like child or marital abuse and vicious criminal offenses as well as other kinds of irresponsibility. All of this anger management info is of course something a person should think about if they know they have an issue with anger.

There are actually a variety of anger-creating circumstances and a lot more anger management info that could be beneficial in working through anger-affiliated problems. Many people get upset or even mad if they are annoyed, if anything does not work in the manner they intended or even if they did not realize success when they did their best. Situations such as these might cause an individual to get annoyed. That aggravation may result in anger which could turn right into an entire set of adverse outcomes.

Agitation sets off anger. Every day situations like continuous requests and normal disruptions may cause an individual to get aggravated. That irritability keeps on developing until the outcome is an abrupt explosion of anger. Dependent on the person that frustration may cause an individual to turn to alternative ways of discharging the anger, most of which might be unpleasant for themselves as well as others.

If a person has been verbally mistreated, maybe sexually misused, these circumstances set off anger. Individuals handle these types of troubling encounters in different ways. However, for people who get angry due to mistreatment, the result might be serious, actually vicious. Anger management info is definitely crucial, particularly in a scenario in which an individual begins to feel in danger.

Getting dealt with harshly frequently will cause a feeling of anger. Typically when folks are held responsible for mistakes, whether or not justifiable, it may cause them to become upset and also behave badly due to these sensations.

There is a lot of info essential to understanding anger management. The more info an individual is able to collect, the easier it will be to deal with when they confront situations that involve an upset person or if perhaps they want to take advantage of the info themselves. Anger management info is offered via a lot of resources – publications and films along with the Web. For somebody that needs anger management info, the Web is actually an outstanding resource. Having a lot of sites focused on anger management, it is extremely good at providing the vital info needed regarding anger, effects of anger, individuals impacted by anger and also anger management info.

Without the proper anger management info, it might be hard to start a treatment course which is helpful. It won’t make a difference exactly where the anger management info originates from. It will make a difference, on the other hand, exactly what a person will do with the info they may be provided. Reading through and also understanding the info is important. However, determining how to proceed using this info can make all the difference in managing anger-affiliated problems or otherwise.

Whether you are someone who has a problem with anger, or you’re just curious, you may be wondering – what is anger management? The phrase is thrown around rather casually, but it is actually a serious therapy that can help people control their intense emotions, particularly anger and rage.

Most psychological experts would define anger management as the process of recognizing and controlling your anger. It is not something that is done only once.

When you have a problem with anger, you will be required to manage that problem for the rest of your life. If it is left untreated, it can end up causing a long list of social, physical, mental and emotional problems.

The first part of anger management is identifying the problem you or your loved one may have with anger. Most people get angry from time to time; anger is a normal and healthy emotion.

If someone disappoints you, or you feel you have no control over a terrible situation or you are taken advantage of, it is very natural to feel angry. Most people are equipped to deal with that anger in ways that are helpful and healthy.

People who need anger management have a problem understanding how to respond to their feelings of anger. Instead of dealing with it appropriately, they let it turn into something uncontrollable, often threatening or harming themselves or others.

Anger that isn’t managed may lead to depression, anxiety, suicide and other harms.

Knowing what is anger management can help you recognize your need for it. If you have a problem controlling how you feel, particularly when you’re angry, you might have some issues.

If you find yourself unable to get over something or some wrong that has been done to you, or you tend to blow seemingly small problems into huge issues, you could have a problem with anger.

Any time you become abusive or threatening in a physical or verbal manner, you know you need some help with anger management strategies.

People who have problems with anger management might also have a difficult time maintaining healthy relationships. If you have an anger problem, there’s a good chance that you don’t always treat people well or fairly.

Many people who have a hard time with rage will alienate their friends and family members. People will avoid you and your tendency to engage in confrontations, arguments or fights.

Take a look at your life and think about how anger might be impacting it. If you’d like to bring more meaningful relationships and positive experiences into your life, but you cannot because you are angry all the time, it’s time to get yourself some anger management.

There are many different ways to take advantage of treatment options. You can try to do it on your own; using books and other printed, digital and visual resources. Look for anything that addresses what is anger management and how to make it work for you.

You can read what experts in the mental health field have written, visit websites and sign up for newsletters and other information online. Educating yourself on anger and how it affects you is a great first step towards managing the problem.

Getting help from a professional therapist or counselor is a good idea. You can talk about what makes you angry, how you respond and how you would rather behave.

A therapist will ask you about your past, particularly how you may have acted as a child, how you were raised and whether you were exposed to a lot of untamed anger as a child.

This has a profound impact on your current emotional and mental health. Your therapist will give you some great anger management techniques, and help you track how you are doing with different strategies and tools.

Another great way to manage your anger is through support groups. Working with others who have anger problems is a great way to address what is anger management and how to use it for your own benefit.

You will be able to share your own stories and listen to the stories of others. Some things might sound familiar to you, and you will have the opportunity to find comfort in the fact that you are not alone.